


The Greatest Show

by Dragon_Princess



Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: College, Established Relationship, F/M, First Meeting, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abortion, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, I’m emo for these two, Kissing, Mentions of alcohol, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Probably getting angsty up in here at some point, Probably mentions of hanky panky but no actual hanky panky because ya girl is ace af, Romance, Spotify, Swearing, Teen Romance, Unhappy Families, not an au, oneshots, playlist fic, pop culture references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21823801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragon_Princess/pseuds/Dragon_Princess
Summary: “Don't fight it, it's comin' for you, runnin' at yaIt's only this moment, don't care what comes afterIt's blindin', outshinin' anything that you knowJust surrender 'cause you're callin' and you wanna go”- Panic! At The Disco/The Greatest Showman ‘The Greatest Show’Jade and Beck have always been different. She’s a mystery and he’s an open book. Their relationship has always been unique and electric, a spectacle. This collection of non-chronological oneshots explores their unique dynamic.Each oneshot is based off a song from the Bade playlist I have created.This can be see as a companion piece to my fic “Getting Back Up” to provide background for their relationship as it becomes more relevant to that plot, but both can be read completely independently.
Relationships: Beck Oliver/Jade West
Comments: 10
Kudos: 69





	1. The Greatest Show

**Author's Note:**

> My Bade Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/za0ujibl8jzwuas8guzl883y4/playlist/7d19kL2u7OEo0Qc6DUgRgV?si=3ZG3UnJbTuaG403QKUsC2A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beck meets Jade on their first day at Hollywood Arts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Taking your breath, stealing your mind  
> And all that was real is left behind” -The Greatest Showman/Panic! At The Disco ‘The Greatest Show’

Jade West was an enigma. She always had been.

From the moment they met, Beck Oliver was endlessly intrigued.

She radiated confidence, even on the first day of high school when all the freshman were various stages of nervous, she had walked through the halls like she already belonged there. He supposed she did, he did too, all the freshman did. They had auditioned and gotten in. But still, the upperclassmen who were already familiar with the place made the idea of belonging hard to imagine.

His very first morning, he dropped some things into his blank locker. The telltale sign of a freshman was their blank gray locker. He’d have to get around to decorating it soon. The longer it stayed blank, the more out of place he would feel.

He had turned from his locker and caught sight of her then, fiddling with the lock on her own blank locker, dark hair with a turquoise streak, dark blue jeans and a deep red and black checkered shirt over a black tank top, dark purple bookbag with a few patches at the floor by her feet. Her face was serious as she twiddled with the dial, glancing at the notecard she had been given by the office with her combination every so often. He couldn’t seem to look away from this strange girl as something about her yelled mystery and he was determined to figure her out. She groaned in frustration as yet another attempt left her locker still shut.

He smiled. She was cute when she was frustrated.

She aimed a kick at the locker and she swung her bag onto her shoulder with a scowl, seemingly heading to class without dropping off whatever extra supplied she had.

Beck took this as his opportunity and he crossed the hallway, intercepting her before she got too far away from her locker.

“Move,” she insisted, hardly looking up at him as she slowed to a stop. She was shorter than him. Not by much, though.

“I saw you messing with your locker. I was wondering if you needed any help.”

“I don’t need your help,” she countered, finally looking at him. Her eyes were a blueish green and God, she was even prettier up close, and his heart nearly stopped.

“Are you sure? It’ll only take a second.” He managed to say, hoping his face wasn’t as red as it felt.

She studied his face for a second. “I’m sure. Move.”

And then she pushed passed him, leaving him in the middle of the hall that was becoming more crowded.

* * *

Fourth period rolled around and Beck picked a seat in the middle of the US History classroom. As exciting as it was to attend a performing arts school, he had to take regular classes as well. At least he found history somewhat interesting, especially US history because he had spent more than the first half of his life studying Canadian history.

He pulled a red notebook from his bag and flipped it to the first page, ready for whatever this teacher had to throw at the nervous bundle of ninth graders. He turned his attention to the window as more students filed into the room, but when he felt a presence at the desk beside his, he turned to see who it was, intent on making a new friend. He had already agreed to eat lunch with a boy named André who happened to be in both his second and third period classes. The bad thing about going to a magnet school was that all his middle school friends were at the typical public school and he knew no one.

It was the girl from that morning, looking equal parts bored and annoyed as she pulled out a binder and a pen.

He sent a tentative smile her way, but she only clicked her pen and labeled a new tab in her binder as “History”.

The bell rang, and the teacher greeted them, and began attendance. Beck was called somewhere in the middle and he was waiting for the girl beside him to be called so he could finally learn her name.

“And finally, Jade West?” called the teacher after another few moments of roll call,

“Here,” the mystery girl replied, flipping her pen around between her fingers.

Jade. A somewhat dark, but beautiful stone that had ties to harmony and balance. Beck found her name both fitting and ironic, seeming as she had kicked at her locker in anger and gave up at trying to open it. But she certainly was beautiful.

After what seemed like an eternity, the bell rang, signaling that it was time for lunch. Beck gathered his things and exited the room, heading to his locker to put his morning books away and double check that he had his lunch money. Jade was already gone by the time he left the room.

“Hey, you.” Jade was standing against the wall in the hallway. “Help me open my locker.”

“I thought you didn’t need my help,” he replied in what he hoped was a casual tone.

“Come with me,” she said, instead of answering him, and she strutted away to her locker. He followed close behind. She yanked the notecard from her pocket and thrust it into his hands before crossing her arms. “I think it’s broken.”

“Let me check,” Beck replied, reaching down to the dial. Swiftly, he put in the combination and pulled up on the latch. It swung open easily. Her face fell slightly. “Not broken,” he smirked.

“Jesus Christ,” she muttered, throwing things into the locker.

“You’re Jade, right?” He asked, leaning back against the wall beside the lockers. He was always a calm person. He wasn’t about to let this girl, albeit a very attractive one, get the best of him on his first day. She had already made him blush earlier.

“Yes,”

“I’m Beck,”

“I know. I have ears.” She almost growled.

Beck blinked. That wasn’t how he was expecting this to go. Normally people were at least sort of nice during a formal introduction. He supposed he should’ve guessed she wouldn’t. She wasn’t a normal girl. And that was not a bad thing. He wanted to get to know her more. “I was wondering if, uh, you don’t have anyone to sit with at lunch-”

Jade slammed her locker shut. “Nope,”

He furrowed his brows. “Nope?”

“I’m not sitting with you.” She clarified. “Now go. I’m starving and you’re in my way.” She shoved his arm as she passed even though she very easily could have gone completely around him.

He watched her walk away with wide eyes. His arm almost tingled slightly from where she had touched him and he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her retreating form. He smiled just a little and made his own way to lunch.

He found André at a table by himself and joined him. He glanced around the blacktop at all the students. Most were eating, but some were dancing or singing. At the adjacent table sat a petite girl with dyed red hair who was talking amiably and beside her was Jade. She saw him looking at her and scowled a bit, but he didn’t look away. After a moment, her scowl became a soft smile and she looked back to her food.

Mysterious didn’t even begin to describe her.

For whatever reason, he felt like that day was going to be very important to him. And not just because it was his first day of high school.

Years later, with his fingers tangled in dark curls and her arms around his neck in a tiny dorm room in New York City, the memory of that day would come to mind. And he would smile.


	2. Out of Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade and Beck have a fight during their first semester of college and Jade is worried they might split for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Who’s gonna tell me I’m out of touch  
> When the lights come on and I’m still fucked up?  
> It’s true, I hope it’s you, yeah  
> Who’s gonna call me on all my shit  
> When I go to far and you’re sick of it?   
> It’s true, I hope it’s you, yeah” -Dove Cameron ‘Out Of Touch’

Jade slammed the door behind her, making someone down the hall give an audible shout of surprise, but she didn’t care. She was too fired up to care about who she scared, too fired up to care about much of anything.

She felt as though anger was radiating her body in waves. It made her dizzy. All she could do was throw herself onto her bed and scream into her pillow. She didn’t even hit the lights.

God, Beck made her so _angry_ sometimes. She thought they had gotten over this constant back and forth, but no. It was midterm week of their very first semester of college and she was frustrated and had shouted at him and he had shouted right back. And it had blown up into the biggest fight they had in years, where they each brought up little details just for the sake of antagonizing the other.

Jade groaned and kicked her boots off with more effort than she needed to, but the satisfying thumps against the floor were worth it, screw whoever lived below her.

Maybe going to the same college wasn’t a good idea.

They hadn’t planned it. They had decided to apply to all their choice schools before sharing which ones they had chosen so as not not unintentionally influence the other. It turned out Beck’s favorite overlapped with Jade’s and they had both gotten in with a substantial scholarship. It was a no brainer, really. They even flew to New York together so they wouldn’t be stumbling around their new college campus blindly for their first few days.

It was supposed to have worked out just fine. They had grown up a lot, especially over the summer, and they weren’t supposed to do this anymore. They were supposed to talk like adults now. And they had been doing such a good job. Fighting like this was so, so incredibly childish, and they both knew it, but when things got heated, sometimes they couldn’t stop.

She was sharp with her words, but sometimes she was too sharp. And she had said something she wasn’t exactly proud of during their fight, but sometimes it felt like he just deserved it. Even if he didn’t.

Jade plugged her headphones into her phone and pulled up the most angry playlist she could find and stared at the ceiling, fuming, as the music played. At least her roommate wasn’t there to bug her.

After a solid half hour of angry music, Jade’s anger had resided somewhat, and she changed to a more subdued playlist and found herself looking at what she had hung on the wall beside her bed. There was a poster from _The Scissoring_ , a flyer from her last show at Hollywood Arts that the entire cast had signed, a tapestry of the moon, a picture of her high school friend group on their graduation day, a few Polaroid candids of her and her friends that someone else had taken, but her favorite was a picture of her and Beck where she was leaned lazily against him at some gathering they had gone to with their friends over the summer where they were happy.

They were happy most of the time, truly. But the fights were brutal when they did come, and everyone knew it. Most days, they snapped together like a puzzle, but sometimes they were like sandpaper and wood. And usually she was the sandpaper.

It was those times when people wondered why he bothered sticking around, or why she didn’t try to find someone else that could handle her. But Beck and Jade knew each other like no one else ever could. Sometimes wood needs sandpaper, but sometimes that sandpaper can be a little too rough. Jade wondered if this time, she had gone too far.

Jade was shaken from her introspection by a knock at the door that she could hear over the music in her ears. She paused the song.

“No!” Jade shouted to whoever was at the door. She was not in the mood.

“Jade, it’s me.” Said Beck, muffled by the heavy wooden door.

Jade sighed heavily. She considered not letting him in, but considering the whole grown-up thing they were trying to do, she felt that it would be counterproductive. She tugged her headphones from her ears and tossed them onto her bed as she forced herself to her feet and crossed the short distance from her bed to the door, opening it wide. “What?”

“We should talk,” Beck said simply when he had full view of her. His hair was messy and his hands were deep in his pockets. When he was upset, he ran his hands through his hair more that usual, which ended up tousling it more than making him look cool.

Jade answered by stepping aside and allowing him to enter the room. He sat down on her bed, like he always did. Jade glared at him as she shut the door, but he remained seated. She stood with her arms crossed in front of him.

“So you say you want to talk and then you don’t talk.” She said, rolling her eyes.

“I was waiting to see if you had anything to say first,” he replied evenly.

“Nope,”

“Sometimes you go too far, Jade.” Beck said after a moment of looking thoughtful. His voice was calm, cool, and he looked more sad than angry.

And somehow that was worse than being shouted at or him being mad at her. And she snapped. “I know I do! It’s just, fuck! Sometimes it doesn’t feel like I can stop it!”

“I know,” Beck nodded. “I know. It’s hard for me too sometimes.”

“You don’t get angry like, like that except for when _I_ make you that angry! Jesus, I… I don’t understand how you’re not sick of that.”

“I am,”

“What?”

“I _am_ sick of getting angry with you because you’re angry at me.” He clarified. “I’m sick of making each other so pissed off we can’t have a normal conversation sometimes. We’ve been doing a lot better, but I’m still sick of it.”

“Then why don’t you just dump me and move on? Why have you stayed so long if this whole thing just makes you unhappy?” Jade turned away from him, staring out the window at the campus below.

“I never said I was unhappy,”

Jade turned back to him, confused.

“I said I was sick of being angry, not that I’m unhappy.”

“But I-”

He shook his head. “Sometimes I make shitty ideas and sometimes you do and sometimes we’re total assholes to each other, but I’m still happy. I think the occasional asshole bit is kind of our thing at this point.” He smiled a bit. “But sometimes you do go too far, and I think you just need to remember that.”

Jade sighed. She need to remember that her words could hurt people. Beck was used to her and she was used to him and they knew exactly where each other’s line was for teasing and actually being mean at this point. Her fingers drifted up to the necklace she was wearing. He had given to her years ago. “I’m working on it,” She said softly.

“I know you are,” he held his hand out to her and she took it without hesitation and sat beside him. “And I’m proud of you. You’ll get there.”

“Are you mad at me?” She asked.

“No. I think I was mad at the idea of being mad more than I was actually ever upset with you.”

“I…” she hesitated, but pushed on for their sake. “I’m sorry.”

“Accepted,” he murmured, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear, letting his hand linger on her cheek, she put her hand on top of his.

She smiled a bit. “You love me,”

“Always,” he grinned and leaned to kiss her, but she pulled back at the last second, startling him.

“I love you too,” she nearly whispered, before closing the distance between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed!


	3. What You Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beck likes Jade a lot and wishes her life was better.
> 
> TW: references and mentions of affairs, possible child abuse/neglect, unhappy families

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I’ll find the places where you hide
> 
> I’ll be the dawn on your worst night
> 
> The only thing left in your life
> 
> Yeah, I would kill for you that’s right
> 
> If that’s what you wanted” -What You Wanted by OneRepublic

It didn’t take long for Beck to hate Jade’s parents.

He didn’t usually hate anyone, he couldn’t, it just wasn’t in his nature. But Mr. and Mrs. West were a special breed of awful and Beck hated them before he even saw either of them.

Jade talked about her family casually when they were alone together. At first, she seemed to describe them as quirky and odd, but the closer he grew to Jade, the more open she became about things.

Her parents were miserable, uptight business people who felt appearances were everything. They were both often busy or away, leaving Jade to fend for herself. Jade knew at least half the business trips they took were about doing people rather than things. Apparently, her parents could hardly stand each other and only remained together to keep their good reputation (Jade had admitted she wasn’t sure if they even ever liked each other, let alone loved each other), but each of them had at least one person who they went to see for ‘business’ on a regular basis. They fought loudly on the rare occasion they were both home at the same time and tried to get Jade to take sides, which she never did.

All of that was bad enough, but perhaps the worst thing was that Jade, in a sleepy late night daze from her place on the couch in Beck's living room, had said she wasn’t sure if either of her parents actually loved her. They had a housekeeper look after her for most of her life. They didn’t approve of most of the things she did, however big or small, and they belittled her aspirations and dreams because they had to do with art and drama and music. They felt that it was a waste of time and not worth pursuing, and encouraged Jade to drop her little ‘hobby' and make something of herself.

And that didn’t even address the two faint little scars that drifted lazily down Jade’s left upper arm, or how jumpy she got when anyone touched her shoulders or back unexpectedly, how startled she got whenever a door slammed, no matter what the reason for the slam. Beck hadn’t asked about those things yet. She would tell him one day, maybe. If she was ready.

Jade, being Jade, of course fought back against her parents' wishes by throwing herself into acting and writing and singing wholeheartedly. She said once she was powered by spite.

And despite her parents being so difficult about Jade’s passions, she knew enough to ruin them both if word ever got out about their behavior, so she had learned early on that she could play them off of each other and threaten and wheedle them to get what she wanted, and they appeased her requests just to keep her quiet. Because her parents were wealthy, people would probably guess Jade was spoiled, but in reality, Jade was just smart and rebellious and sneaky. She had learned these skills at a young age, and for however long she was forced to be in their custody, she would use their willingness to buy off their own daughter to her advantage.

Jade was so talented. She could really go on and make something of herself. Beck could see it, their teachers could see it. Jade was something special, even if her own parents couldn’t recognize their daughter’s abilities.

So yes, Beck despised Jade’s parents. And he had never played eyes on them.

_His_ parents, however, were good people with big hearts and a lot of love to give. Even Jade’s standoffish and bitter nature didn’t scare them away.

That’s why Beck wasn’t too surprised when he asked then if Jade could stay over for the weekend, as both of her parents were to be in town and she didn’t want to deal with it. The Olivers took one look at each other and said yes, as long as one of the teenagers slept in the living room.

Beck had told them about Jade’s parents after the first time Jade had hung out at his house, how terrible they sounded, because he was worried about her, and while his parents had already been nice to her, they made an extra effort to make Jade feel welcome when she came over, which was becoming more and more often.

They weren’t dating. Not officially. Not really. But Jade had kissed him in the hallway at school, out of the blue and a little too hard, and he hadn’t minded. When he asked why, she said that the tenth grade girls who kept talking to him made her mad, as if it was a normal reaction. She had also started sitting with him at lunch, squishing a little closer to him than necessary under the excuse that her friend Cat needed more room. And if she minded how he would grab her hand under the table, she never mentioned it.

Jade did things her own way. She was tough and didn’t need to be looked after. She was confident and determined. She was talented and creative and beautiful. She could scare anyone off with a simple glance, but somehow that only made Beck want to be closer to her. She was truly something special. And she may not have needed him to take care of her, but he still wanted to. As much as any little artsy fourteen year old boy could possibly look out for a girl that could probably snap him in half, of course.

She had fallen asleep on the couch, curled up with her head on an arm rest while a movie flickered on the tv. She liked horror movies, but she hadn’t been in the mood for any this time, which was unusual. Beck had pulled out the bin of Disney movies his family had collected over the years and offered them to her after they had come in from lazily swinging on the creaky swing set in his back yard a few hours after dinner. To Beck’s surprise, Jade selected _The Little Mermaid_ (because Ursula was the only decent villain, she said, but Jade seemed to know every word of the film by heart, so Beck didn’t completely believe she was only watching it for the sea witch) and had barely made it through half of the film before falling asleep. This was not the first time she had fallen asleep at his house, but it was the first time she had tapped out before he did. They weren’t supposed to be sleeping in the same room, but it seemed his parents truly only meant have been that they couldn’t sleep in Beck’s bedroom, but as long as they crashed on opposite ends of the couch, his parents didn’t seem to mind much. Apparently two freshman weren’t skilled or comfortable enough to try anything in the main room of a house.

Beck went to his room and came back with a blanket and tossed it onto the couch, and then he gingerly picked Jade’s blanket up from the top of her bag, which was by the front door. It was a dark gray with white and purple stars. She always brought it with her when she slept over, it was the only blanket she used, she never asked to borrow one. By the light of Ariel using a comb to brush her hair, Beck placed the blanket over Jade, who was fast asleep.

Beck went back to the other side of the couch and pulled his own blanket over him, determined to stay awake until the end of the movie.

The next thing he remembered, early morning sun was filtering through the living room curtains and a clip of _Under the Sea_ was looping over the DVD menu and Jade was standing over him with a smirk, with damp hair and looking remarkably awake and ready for the day. “Took you long enough,” she teased. “He’s awake, Mrs. Oliver!” Jade called over her shoulder.

“Oh good,” Beck’s mom came into the living room from the kitchen. “Beck, honey, since Jade got up so early and it’s supposed to be so beautiful today, your father and I decided we should go to the zoo. She’s never been! Can you believe that?”

“You’ve never been to the zoo?” Beck asked sleepily. He had been to the zoo lots of times, and he had only lived in LA for five years.

Jade shook her head. “And I’d like to see whatever an Okapi is, but you need to get ready before we can go.”

“Okay, okay, I’m getting up.” Beck chuckled, pushing himself off of the couch before heading to his room. “I won’t be long.”

“Good,” Jade and his mother replied in unison.

Beck grinned to himself as he pulled a shirt from his closet. Maybe he couldn’t look out for Jade much on his own, that that she needed his protection, but maybe his efforts combined with his parents’, they could make her feel wanted and loved and included, even if it was only for a short time.


	4. Someone Who Loves Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life throws Beck and Jade a curveball after they graduate high school, but they get through it together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Abortion implied  
> ____
> 
> “You'll let me cry it out  
> 'Cause you know that sometimes I can't stop  
> And still I'm seeking how  
> To stand up when the bottom drops  
> The weight of all the world  
> Can blind me to its beauty  
> But every time I need to be reminded  
> I know you will, and say you're still someone who loves me”- ‘Someone Who Loves Me’ by Sara Barellies

It was raining, because of course it was. It never rained in LA, but tonight of all nights, it was raining. If she were an outsider viewing this moment, she would appreciate the cinematic parallel between the emotion and the weather, but she couldn’t manage that. 

The familiar short walk from the front door of her car to the door of Beck’s RV felt like an eternity on her shaky legs, but she made it and knocked on the door in the very pattern she had used for years that let Beck know it was her before he opened the door. 

“Hey you,” Beck greeted from the other side of the door, from the other side of the RV probably, by how far away he sounded. Jade could hear the smile in his voice and it felt like a knife in her chest. “I guess you’re feeling better? We missed you today.” He opened the door then and she watched his face fall as he looked at her. Did she really look that bad? He stepped aside, allowing Jade access to the RV. 

She didn’t realize just how bad her legs were wobbling until she momentarily lost her balance on the step and Beck grabbed her so she wouldn’t fall. He helped her up the last step and turned, to face her, his hands finding her waist. “You shouldn’t have driven here if you still feel this bad, babe.” He said, concern evident. “If you wanted to see me, I would have come to you.” He rested his forehead against hers. “You don’t have a fever at least.”

Jade pulled away from him roughly and walked to the middle of the RV, facing away from him, arms crossed. There was so much of her in this place, she could see so much of it from where she stood. A notebook, a bracelet, a tube of lipstick, a sweater, even her childhood blanket was folded neatly at the foot of Beck’s bed. They had always been so intertwined. Beck knew her better than anyone else, probably better than she knew herself. She knew him well too, of course. But she didn’t know how he would react to this. 

“Jade?” He asked, moving closer to her. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m not sick,” she told him, not turning around.

He was silent.

She bit her lip and took a deep breath as her eyes filled with tears. Now or never. “I’m pregnant.”

Jade felt the world shift around her suddenly, too suddenly. Her legs gave out and she didn’t even try to catch herself.

A set of arms wrapped around her for the second time that day, keeping her upright, at least for a moment. 

She tried to squirm away from him, but she couldn’t. She felt too weak. He turned her to face him, but she didn’t look up at him. She couldn’t. She could only push her head against his chest. 

“Oh God, Jade.” He breathed, tightening his hold on her. “Oh God,”

After a moment, he lowered them both to the ground, but said nothing else.

This could ruin everything. Moving to New York and going to college and making names for themselves in the entertainment industry. And yet, it hadn’t even crossed their minds. They were too high on their graduation, on each other, and they were stupid and reckless and irresponsible just like teenagers were supposed to be. They hadn’t considered the potential consequences of their actions. Just like a couple of dumb teenagers.

Jade uncrossed her arms and wrapped them both around one of Beck’s when her crying eased up. Despite everything, she felt safe with him, safe on the floor where he had held her dozens of times while she cried about things she couldn’t quite explain.

“How long have you known?” He asked into her hair. 

“A few days,” she replied, blinking back more tears. “I... didn’t tell you sooner because... because I thought you’d be mad at me. And I needed to... prepare.”

“I’m not mad at you,” he whispered. “I could never be mad at you for this.” He pressed a kiss to her hair. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Jade didn’t ask him what he was apologizing for. She only pressed herself closer to him. He was warm and steady and familiar, and though her thoughts were spinning out of control, she could pretend everything was okay with his arms around her. 

“What do you want to do?” Beck asked gently, breaking the silence that had settled over both of them. He was twisting his fingers through her hair absently.

There were so many potential questions in his words, but Jade knew what he meant.

“I can’t have a kid.” she replied. She had been thinking about the options on her own and felt very certain. “I don’t want a baby. I don’t want to be pregnant. I don’t want to be a mom.” Not now. Not yet. She had so much to do. They had so much to do. But if he wanted this, she would deal with it. They could probably figure it out. They’d have to not go to college and find somewhere to live and get jobs and give up everything, but they could do it. Most likely.

“Okay,” 

“What do you want?” She asked him. He liked kids, she knew that for a fact. The kids in his neighborhood loved him because he talked to them and played with them and he had been invited to Pokémon and Barbie birthday parties for years and always, always brought the kid a present. He had a huge soft spot for kids. 

She felt him shake his head. “This isn’t up to me.”

“But it’s-”

He shook his head again. “No. This is your body, Jade. Not mine. If you don’t want this, you don’t want this. End of story.”

“But if you want-”

“Sh,” he hushed her. “I want whatever will make you happy. That’s always what I want.”

She didn’t deserve him. She really didn’t. He was too good for someone like her. And yet, he stayed. And he loved her through all of her shit, and she didn’t deserve that. 

“It’s not a good time,” she said quietly, defending her choice even though she didn’t have to.

“No, it’s not.” He agreed. He sighed. “You’re right.”

“I’m sorry,”

“I’m sorry,” he countered. 

It was her turn to sigh. “Beck,”

“Yeah?”

“I love you,” 

“I love you too.”

* * *

They had waited a week, just to keep talking about things and be sure that they wouldn’t change their minds, and they hadn’t. 

Jade had been silent since they returned from the appointment, curled up on the bed with her star-covered blanket over her. Beck was beside her, staring up at the ceiling of the RV, holding her hand, running his thumb over the back of her hand.

No one else knew about this, and no one ever would. They had agreed to that. And because Jade was 18 now, she hadn’t even needed to go through her parents. Everyone just thought she was sick and that Beck was looking after her.

She felt relieved, truly she did. But she also felt overwhelmed. A lot had happened in such a short period of time. It was a lot to process. Oddly, she even felt sort of sad. Everything she had looked up said she might, but she wasn’t expecting it to hit so fast. She didn’t regret it, but she was sad regardless. It wasn’t the kind of sad that felt a little empty, not that made tears fall.

Jade rolled over onto her side and pulled her hand from his grasp, and Beck looked over at her. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, breaking the vow of silence they both had taken hours before.

“Yeah,” she replied, scooting closer to him. She was okay. And she would be more okay with time. “I’m okay. Are you?”

“Yeah,” he pressed his forehead against hers. 

She smiled a bit at that. 

“I missed that,” he whispered, brushing his thumb over her cheek.

“What?”

“Your smile.” He said, a small smile of his own appearing.

“I missed yours, too.” She admitted. “Sorry the last week has sucked so hard.”

“Don’t apologize,” he said for the billionth time. “We’re in this together, remember?”

She nodded. 

“I love you no matter what.” He added.

“I know you do.” Jade kissed him gently. “I love you too.” 

He tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. She picked her head up and put it on his chest and he held her close. 

Nothing was ever easy with the two of them, but they loved each other through it all, and that was really all that mattered in the end.


	5. City of Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade and Beck reflect on their lives so far when they return to LA after living in New York for several years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "A look in somebody's eyes  
> To light up the skies  
> To open the world and send it reeling  
> A voice that says, I'll be here  
> And you'll be alright
> 
> I don't care if I know  
> Just where I will go  
> 'Cause all that I need's this crazy feeling  
> A rat-tat-tat on my heart
> 
> Think I want it to stay"- ‘City of Stars’ from La La Land

  
“God, it’s been so long.” Jade said as she looked up at the Hollywood sign. 

“Yeah,” Beck replied, leaning back against the car lazily. 

It had been, oh, four years maybe since they had last been in Los Angeles, before Jade had gotten onto Broadway, before Beck had landed his job on the late night talk show. Between those weird and busy schedules, it was hard to find a time to go visit anyone anywhere. If they had the chance, they would go to Canada for the holidays to see Beck’s family, because Jade was adamant in her refusal to see her parents more than necessary. 

Still, the fact that they had managed to avoid returning to LA for so long was a feat. 

“It’s kinda weird to be back.”

“Sure is. New York and LA might be the show biz capitals of the US, but they feel so different. LA feels more calm than New York, I guess. 

“New York is to LA what cocaine is to Valium.” Jade said casually. “Both get you high, but they suck in completely different ways afterwards.”

Beck shoved his hands in his pockets, unsurprised that his girlfriend knew about the side effects of drugs. That sounded exactly like the kind of internet holes she got stuck in when she was bored. “At least you can drive over here. Jesus Christ. I forgot how freeing being able to drive is.”

“I don’t think Jesus is ever gonna help the traffic situation in Manhattan, babe.”

Beck rolled his eyes at Jade’s horrible joke and bumped her shoulder with his own, making her retaliate with a harder shove. Beck chuckled and leaned over to press a kiss to the top of her head. 

Jade wrapped her arms around him. “Fuck, Beck. Last time we were here, we were just two college kids who had stupid big dreams and now we’re back here and I’ve been on freaking Broadway and you’re gonna be in a huge movie.”

“Guess the dreams weren’t that stupid then, huh?” He smirked. “Big, sure, but not stupid.”

“Did you ever think you’d be here?” Jade asked, looking up at him. “Like, when we were in high school. Did you ever think we’d be in the situation we are now?”

“God, freshman Beck hoped I’d be able to kiss you whenever I wanted to, but did I think it would actually happen? Nah.” 

Jade rolled her eyes and pushed away from him, exasperated. “You know exactly what I meant.”

Beck pulled her back against him. “I know, I know.”

Jade rested her head against his chest and then Beck continued. 

“No, I didn’t think I’d be here. Sure, I hoped I’d be some hot shot actor, but there’s so many actors in the world, so anything could have happened really. But I’m really lucky, because it happened even better than I could have ever imagined. What about you?”

She shook her head. “I never thought I’d be good enough to get onto Broadway, or that I’d even leave this city.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with moving back here? I know how much you love being on stage. It doesn’t feel fair to pull you away from that.” Beck loved watching Jade perform in the musicals she had been in, because she loved it so much and her passion was palpable. It had been almost like magic, and he was so, so incredibly proud of her.

“Shut up,” Jade retorted. “That was my dream. We’re moving back here because it’s time for yours.”

“But there’s no real theater district here.”

Jade shrugged. “Hamilton’s been here for a while.”

“Jade, I know you know you would never get cast in that show, unless you did ensemble, and they dance like the world is ending.” Jade wasn’t a huge fan of dancing in shows. And, yeah the Hamilton ensemble did a lot of ridiculous dance moves she would break half her bones trying. 

“And I’m glad that they still haven’t wavered in their casting choices.” Jade replied. “It was an example, we might get more shows that stick around a while. And in the meantime, I can always try for TV or something.”

“That’s fair,” 

“Also... I was considering trying to get back in to writing.”

“Really? That’s awesome.” 

“You think so?”

“Of course!” Beck replied, pulling away to hold her at arms length. “You’ve always had some really cool ideas. Hell, I might just hand over my shitshow of an outline to you. You’ve given me half the ideas anyway.” 

“It’s not a shitshow, exactly. It just needs... some work.”

Beck snorted. “You don’t have to be nice about it. I know it’s not good.”

“Well fine, you masochist. It sucks. Really bad. Tori’s little brat could write a better outline and she can barely speak or hold a crayon.” Jade grinned at him, letting him know she was joking. Mostly. 

“Ouch. That was harsh.” Beck faked offense. “No but really, Jade. I think you starting to write again would be awesome.”

Jade smiled and turned back to looking at the Holywood sign. Beck was just watching her with a dorky little smile on his face.

“Can I help you?” She asked. 

Beck shook his head. “Just looking at you. You look so happy and... beautiful. I can’t help it. This city gave me you, you know? I just can’t stop looking at you.”

Jade rolled her eyes playfully. “You’re such a sap, Beck Oliver.” 

He laughed and leaned over to kiss her suddenly, she was startled a little as she wasn’t expecting it at that moment. 

“What was that for?” she asked. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“You just... God, it’s too perfect to not kiss you with the sunset and stuff.”

“Well do it again. And this time, you better mean it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know LA isn't technically the City of Stars, but I just really like this song, even though I didn't like the movie much. Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I won’t get around to every song on the playlist in this fic and I’ll probably add more songs over time. Feel free to follow it. :)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
